Tuesday we had our hospital visit. I felt better about the whole process but Nathan was getting anxious just walking the halls! Pray for us. This is going to be an interesting & very new dynamic for us!!
Wednesday was tough for me. I think it was the combination of exhaustion from my terribly uncomfortable attempts to sleep & also the hospital tour making it a reality that Raleigh would be here soon (ready or not!) and I'm 100% sure my hormones were whacky! Everything made me cry. I literally ran between rooms at work, ducking into a bathroom to cry... then trying to get it together... just to lose it in an elevator... then to make it to my office... where I lost it again! It is kind of comical now... but I genuinely felt crazy! Thankfully my tears stopped & my dear friend Jismarie helped me feel pretty & did our maternity shoot. I'm sure the images she captured are ones I will treasure forever! Here is a behind the scenes shot Nathan took with his camera!
I'm realizing (apparently slowly, thank God this process is 9 months!) that we're going to be parents & that scares the bejesus out of me! I mean how are we supposed to be the sole providers for this baby when I still feel like I need my own mother?! When I think about it, it terrifies me yet at the same time I feel so unworthy of this amazing task set before me! What a blessing?! This child has been entrusted to us. Wow. I think it's ok I'm terrified. It's kind of a huge deal! I don't know if I'll ever feel ready... prior to holding Raleigh in my arms, but I know God would not have entrusted us with such a precious gift if He didn't think we could take care of him adequately! I'm sure motherhood will stretch me like no other! I'm ready to be refined & taught an entirely new level of love.
PS. Happy 34 weeks & 1 day! Check out my basketball.
you are adorable! Home stretch, momma, YOU CAN DO IT!!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I am feeling so much better these days. I'm really just excited at this point!!!
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